Tuesday, July 24, 2018
Planner by AnnaVancePaperCo

I've always been a bit enamored with highly organized teachers and mothers. Have you ever been in a challenge group on Fitbit with a bunch of teachers? You probably don't win. They take a billion steps a day. They seem to squeeze in so much productivity in the same amount of hours I have that it leaves me questioning what in the world I could do differently.
I think this will be one of the biggest hurdles for me: planning. The chaos of it all. I enjoy a plan just fine. When my kids were younger, I lived off of a set schedule. It gave me life to actually have a naptime to plan around. But as time brought more children with more needs and different schedules, I tried to be the girl who was up for anything. I'm a go-with-the-flow person by nature and so this is where I find myself now. Plans make me nervous because I'm a seasoned mom who knows that one can create a magnificent plan in their head, but the kids will almost always shatter that expectation with poop, fighting, sickness, or grumpiness every single time. On the other hand, I'm still that psychology major whose mind wanders back to the basics of goal setting and planning and I know that without one in place, I'll struggle more than I would otherwise.
Another problem I foresee is the chaos of a messy home. I'm calm when my house is clean. When the tasks are done-the cleaning, laundry, keeping the little people fed- I'm in my element. I can be the intentional mother that I want to be. I can make a new mess on the floor of toys, paint masterpieces, or materials because I'm the fun mom. Yet if those messes are in every room of the house, my heart beats fast and I'm on edge. I begin to feel trapped. All the stuff. Every time this happens, I go on a purge and donate half of our things to the local thrift store. I should be doing that now actually.
The point is, I know I need a plan of balancing home and school so that's what I've been working on the past few weeks. It has been fun to thoughtfully shop for lesson plans, ideas, and books that will aid in teaching my family this year. Part of the reason I want to homeschool is to decrease the rush of our lives that comes with being a part of a community. Our society has ushered us off to the next best thing and I don't know that I like it all that much. Part of my plan will be to slow down and enjoy being with my family. Children learn at different paces; we know that. I'll remind myself of that as I attempt to create an environment where learning is fun and intrinsically motivating.
Last night I sat down with my new planner and began to jot down what's most important to us in our homeschool right now. I loosely began creating a schedule that we will put into place as our classroom spaces and materials come together in mid August. The only way I'm not completely overwhelmed is because I'm remembering that old verse in Proverbs, "In your heart you may plan your course, but the Lord orders your steps" (see 16:9) I move forward in this undertaking with a large dose of humility noticing that the only way this works is if I'm walking in God's will for our lives. There's great comfort in that!

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