I should be at the grocery store, stockpiling food to get my four wild and free homeschoolers through the week. We have at least three daily breakfasts, you know. But instead I have perched on my office chair with an afternoon cup of joe, a mind full of jumbled thoughts, and a quiet home in which to write. My husband did this. 

A lot of times, people ask me what his role is in all of this and initially I thought it was very minimal. I take care of the schooling, the character building, the socializing, and everything else that makes a well-rounded home-educated child (Stop laughing). It's a heavy responsibility at times and I could just let the weight of that crumble me, but I don't (for the moment anyway) and it's due in part to Jordan's help. Truth be told, he was very leery when I first broached the subject of learning at home. Now, he's more of an advocate for it than I consider myself to be. He sees the benefits it has afforded our family and he is my biggest encourager. Besides, none of this would be possible without his efforts at work. The kids and I recognize daily that we are truly blessed with the gift of togetherness that we have because I'm able to stay home with them. What does Jordan do in our homeschool? He keeps the teacher afloat!

We are coming off of back-to-back vacations and while that sounds quite glamorous, it is also a challenge to take kids off of their routines and expect them to be the darling children they're accoustomed to being. That's not to say you shouldn't do it! By all means, travel with your children if you can. We've had a great last ten days, but my husband knows me well and when we returned home he blessed my introverted soul with alone time by leaving with the children and giving me the house to myself to relax. I have napped, bathed, cleaned, and read in silence and it was the greatest gift.

It has given me time to reflect on this past year. For the first weekend trip, we went to a family favorite- a house nestled in the mountains of Turtletown, Tennessee where my grandfather's people grew up. It's a place to unplug. It's a place to build a fire and stare at it for hours on end if you choose. The light pollution is so much lower there because there are no large cities around and so the majesty of the night sky is striking outside the farmhouse doors. You are free to visit the chickens and grab breakfast eggs each morning. The creek that meanders down the mountain across the property attracts the kids as soon as we arrive there each time. It's a special place. It's also the place that I remember first thinking about homeschooling my kids and started to purpose a certain rhythm for our lives that continues today. I remember the feeling well. It struck me almost exactly a year ago and I felt it revive me when I was there last weekend, reminding me that I'm living a life I want to live, that God purposed for us to live. What a wonderful feeling!

The spirit of our homeschool was born in that house. I remember being influenced by the wild and free community while I had my kids in public school. I listened to the podcasts, followed the hashtags, and was inspired by the many wonderful authors that I read during this time in my life. Still, the decision to pull my kids from something so normal was scary for me and it wouldn't come to fruition for four more months. It was there, though, that I started to teach my children gently, trying to school them while they were home from public school and throughout the summer when I still hadn't decided to officially do this thing. In that house or outside that house- I should say- we began our rhythms. It was valuing being outside instead of in front of a t.v. It was slow mornings with everyone pitching in with breakfast and keeping the house tidy. It was finding something neat in nature and drawing it, researching it, and recognizing it next time. It was reading aloud with my children gathered around. It was spending hours talking to each other, not staring at a device. When you go there, you just naturally want to do those things. This last weekend was no different and we had the freedom to leave to do it in the middle of the week without having to plan around a Spring Break schedule.

This post is sort of a salute to our one year of learning together. We've felt calmer with this style of school, less rushed. A year has gone by and I still feel like I'm not totally sure what I'm doing, but I do know that what we're doing right now is working. We're creating a family culture here that is quite different than a lot of folks, but that's okay! I'm happy with our rogue decision and what we're building together at home. 

The shrieks of my kids just rang through the house so it's back to mothering for me! Thanks for checking in with us in this space. I'll share more of our travels soon.

The Marathon of Education

A little over a week ago, I was in Napa, California working on a personal goal of mine that had very little to do with homeschooling. I set off without the children or my husband for something for me. At first glance, it seems selfish to the world to leave my children, spend money on a trip, and create memories that don't include them. Like all parents, my life is woven so intricately with theirs. Every day, I'm with them- fretting over long and short vowel lessons, kissing and bandaging boo boos, keeping track of the expensive cochlear implant that allows my six year old to hear, preparing food twenty million times a day, and creating a home that is a safe place from the rest of the world in hopes that they can grow up a bit slower and sturdier. The pressure is often so heavy, yet I know I'm up for the task. I look down and see these hands that accomplish very much. The tasks don't seem grand and certainly aren't valued by many, but they're of utmost importance to some and I consider it a great honor to be able to do what I do.

So when I hear the comments about homeschooling, about children as a secondary goal, or anything along those lines, the words grate on my heart. It's insulting. Most don't support our decision to learn at home and that's okay. I make a mental note to address those topics directly when my kids wonder why people quiz them on various topics or they overhear someone asking why they can't read yet, why they aren't in school during the day, or joking that we're hardly providing them with an education. While it may be hurtful to hear, these remarks are reminders to fold in on my family of six and to remember what we are building here in our home and "school." Their education is not what they can do, what facts they can rattle off, or how successful they are at some standard set by someone who doesn't know them. They are people. Already. They have vast interests and talents and dislikes. It's not up to me to force likes upon them. It's obvious because math is Chinese to me, but I would never let my kids know it. They ask to do math every day. Children are eager to learn when you find out what they're interested in and what they're ready to learn in their own time. These hands of mine place a feast in front of them daily. We are surrounded by classical art, music, and nature study. We use games, baking, and unmatched socks to practice math concepts. They learn conflict resolution by being with their siblings all day and our togetherness is building conversation skills and so much love. We sit down and read aloud together every single day. We are not building children, but an atmosphere of a love of learning that I hope lasts their whole lives long. My hope for them is not to go out into the world and blend into it. I want them to live in the world, set apart through their identity in Christ- to be the people that God created them to be. Part of my job is to learn who my kids are and aim to teach them individually and accordingly. Yes, it's a huge undertaking and these hands do very much.

I've got to believe that when my mom held me as baby she didn't look down at me and think, "Yes, this child will have such a clean home when she grows up. My hope for her is that she makes a lot of money. She'll know fractions better than any fourth grader there is and she'll grow up to know the periodic table of elements in her sleep." No, I'd be willing to bet that what she wanted for me was so much more than that and so much less at the very same time.

These hands, which are sorely lacking some attention to them with their outgrown nail polish and their sticky jelly smudges, are working all the time. I'm spending time with my children and they're learning through love and experience. My thoughts drift back to the hands that helped to shape me in the same ways- my step-dad teaching me to read, my dad helping me learn to drive, my mother endlessly modeling selflessness, the quality time, strategy, and math aid I got when my Mimi played Yahtzee with me as a child gathered around the table my great grandfather made, the delight my Papaw displays when he tells stories of me as a child reminding me that time together has been the greatest blessing. I see my Nen at my slumber parties passing down the incredible gift of storytelling. I see long conversations with my Aunt Karmen and Aunt Alyson about raising children, special needs, and education and I'm reminded how much other people love my little people and me, too. There are countless others.

There are more important things than knowing all the vowels by three years old. When these children are grown, I want them to be able to feel all the hands that held them. I want them to look back on our time here learning at home and know that their mother cared to show them the beauty in poetry and laundry, in routine and freedom, in school and home. While I was in Napa, I ran a marathon. I feel like learning at home is a marathon, too. I can't set my kids off on a sprint with that distance and expect them to finish strong. We must find a pace that's steady for each of them and not worry about what anyone else is doing. 

Our end goals are likely different than everyone else, too. 

Identity

I hesitate to write anything like this because every time I do I think it opens a door for an attack, but I'm going to say it- Our homeschool feels right. It's 2019 and the first time I've put thoughts to this blog this year. As I sit in the mid morning air of a freshly stoked fire with my computer on my lap, coffee in hand, and a sweet curly headed mop on my shoulder, I feel the way it's supposed to feel on good days.
There's been a great process for me, a discovery of who I am in all of this. When I think toward all the times I've had to reinvent myself or build an identity I was comfortable in, it was always something big. I graduated college and had a job I hated counseling people with drug and alcohol addictions. It was meant to get my foot in the door so that they would aid me in paying for further schooling, but that didn't work out. I cried every morning on my way to work and every day coming home. The desperate lives of the people I tried to help broke my heart, but also began to harden it so I knew I had to get out of there. I ended up back in school anyway working on my Master's until my next big adventure started.
I welcomed my soldier home from deployment and jumped quite quickly into married life as an Army Wife. I capitalized those words because it felt like a role at the time to me, a large undertaking. It was something I had to learn. As a civilian being thrust into a new world of uniforms, mandatory fun, required military ids for everything, gobs of acronyms I'll never know, and an undying support for all the many boots on the ground that we take for granted every day, I was learning so much from the military community. I couldn't begin to list it all here, but the point is that I was molded yet again by God uniting me to this man that I married and my identity was new and budding.
Then motherhood happened. Whew! Time for an overhaul, I guess. It nearly broke me as I suspect it almost does for many of us. Depression ate at me for years after being pregnant then nursing pregnant then nursing. Obviously I'm hardly out of that so I don't want to pretend like that's something I don't deal with from time to time, but motherhood is like this fire in front of me now. It's refining.
Because of my personality, people view me as someone who goes with the flow, maybe even the crowd. But I'm not. I take chances when I need to take chances. I'm capable of change, eager to learn, and open to what God calls me to do.

I began to feel the stirring in my life to try homeschooling. It didn't make sense to me. I was the one who could not wait for school to start for the kids, if I could just have the hours of 8-3 to myself- I'd be productive, more connected to my Father, happy. But the invisible hand of God was pushing me in a different direction and in His infinite wisdom He started planting seeds in different areas of my life. It sounded so bizarre to me, against the grain. I don't always jump at against the grain. But scripture after scripture was being spoken into my heart especially ones reminding me that I'm set apart. Our homeschool was founded on that notion. Seeking God is now a huge goal of our school. We thought about what is important and we try to implement it as best we can. My changing identity as mother and teacher is only just beginning. It has been a hard year, but it has been incredibly life-giving, too. I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father who sees the desires in our hearts, who equips us with everything we need, and who blesses us beyond measure despite our undeserving hearts.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Winterfrost

Well, I made it to Christmas Break as my childrens' primary educator. At the end of the summer as I was making this big decision, I remember asking the vice principal of their old school if they could come back in January if this all failed miserably. He laughed and told me that preferably I made it until the end of the school year, but absolutely they'd take them back happily anytime...even if it was going to be a few months down the road. I told myself that I would take an honest assessment of how it was going and how they were doing and adjust the plan accordingly. Because this decision was God-breathed, it's not really about me at all. I want to do what He wants us to do as a family.

We're officially on Christmas Break. I'm looking at this time as a time of rest, of planning, and getting organized for our next semester here at home. It's a lot of work to homeschool. It takes a lot of time and care to teach my kids. We're in the comfort of our home and with that comes distractions of all sorts- the t.v., the housework, the doorbell. There are many times we are interrupted and I have to try to reign back in the little learners. We are enjoying it, though. I'm going to spend some time thinking about how we can make school better in 2019 and implement new routines or curriculum that we've slacked on. I'm feeling good about what we have done, though! 

We joined a book club this year, but sadly weren't able to make the meeting to discuss the book. Still, it was a great experience to read, craft, talk, and create memories together around this story. I love how my kids are going to recall a story later on in life and remember that their mama read that to them as they scarfed down cookies we had made or while we enjoyed our first fire of the cold season. I like how the stories evolve into conversations to be had and brain synapses to connect. I know I won't regret all the time we spend reading out loud as a family so that is one thing that we will most definitely continue and hopefully increase this next year. 

Here's a brief synopsis of the book in case you might be interested in it for your child(ren):

Christmas has come, and with it a sparkling white winterfrost over the countryside. But twelve-year-old Bettina’s parents have been called away unexpectedly, leaving her in charge of the house, the farm, and baby Pia. In all the confusion, Bettina’s family neglects to set out the traditional bowl of Christmas rice pudding for the tiny nisse who are rumored to look after the family and their livestock. No one besides her grandfather ever believed the nisse were real, so what harm could there be in forgetting this silly custom? But when baby Pia disappears during a nap, the magic of the nisse makes itself known. To find her sister and set things right, Bettina must venture into the miniature world of these usually helpful, but sometimes mischievous folk. A delightful winter adventure for lovers of the legendary and miraculous.

Looking out the window today, I'd rather see a blanket of white frost or snow instead of the cold rain pouring out of the clouds, but for now we have our story of Winterfrost that we can visit in our minds any ole time we want!

Do you have any book recommendations for us?

Tabula Rasa?

I've been sitting here staring at the same cup of tea for twenty minutes, gently twirling the string connected to the tea bag, watching the colorful herbs swish around with the movement. I have on my mom jeans and a comfy sweater and I've barely brushed my hair. The weather has been a bit gloomy causing some degree of stir-crazy that can easily become a problem if I let it. I've wondered what to do with this space. Is it a place to document our studies? Perhaps, but if that's the case- what a lousy job it's doing. No, I think it's a place for me to openly discuss the dialogue in my head, both good and bad.

The last time I wrote here, I was coming off of a high from attending my first ever homeschool conference. I was feeling inspired, capable, and excited. Those feelings come and go throughout the week regularly, rarely ever lasting for a full five day school week. Sometimes, it's a daily change. I'll wake up in the morning feeling like we can handle this task of learning at home and I'll pace the door by afternoon wondering when my husband will get home so I can tell him it's time to send these kids... anywhere really.

It's strange, but I think that's just motherhood in general. We question our decisions sometimes, always seeking what's best for our children. For the most part, though, our homeschool is going well. The rhythms we're creating here give me hope. It wasn't that long ago that I felt like we were barely surviving, but now so many days I see us thriving. We aren't just making it through the day. We're learning to sew, to write, to be kind, or to help with household chores. We're studying different countries and cultures and creating our own right here in East Tennessee. We do math, geography, music, art, language arts, history, and more but the greatest benefits have been the togetherness and developing camaraderie that I know I'll never look back on and regret.

My background is in psychology. If you've ever studied Psych, you've probably pondered whether nature or nurture is supreme. You probably were asked about the notion of Tabula Rasa, the idea that individuals are born as blank slates that we can fill up. It wasn't until I became a parent that I realized how vain that all sounds. I can write all I want all over my children but if God wants them to be a computer programmer after I toss out all our technology, He'll accomplish it. If I forget to teach them math and a kid becomes an engineer, it's because that's the role they were supposed to fill all along. These children are people, born with certain personality traits, learning styles, challenges, and talents that were ordained by God. My job as their mother and teacher is to study them and find out what I can do to help them each along individually. Ultimately, God is in control of all of this. I know because He called me to it. He hasn't left me to handle it on my own and on hard days I can cling to that.

The blank slates I thought I had when they were babies are teaching me more than I ever thought possible. They aren't blank slates at all. This year alone they've reminded me to slow down, to savor, to dream. They've taught me that it's okay to be different. It's okay to be a little wild and to venture away to try something new. As the advent season comes upon us, I hope to take more time to listen to the environment in our home, to read excellent books, to cuddle by the fire when it's cold out, and to remember why we were put on this earth to learn and grow.

Not Yo Mama's Homeschool Conference

Admittedly, I have never been to another homeschooling conference so I suppose I don't know what it's like, but I can use my imagination. The Wild + Free conference last weekend was more of an experience. I was introduced to new artists via live music. I met a new friend who I'm pretty sure was sent straight from God. She was THE FIRST person I began talking to and she lives right here in my very town! I got to hear firsthand some of my favorite bloggers, podcasters, and homeschoolers speak about various topics. I got to hear talented writers discussing the ins and outs of teaching their children at home. Oh, and there were donuts. Delicious donuts. I left inspired to tackle this role another week.

I didn't take many photos, but I did take a lot of notes. The thing about this homeschooling gig to me is that I don't often go against the grain. I felt sick when I thought about making this decision. I felt God leading me to it, but I didn't know why. I loved the kids' school. And then there were the opinions. Some whispered out of my ear shot and some spoken right to my face. It seems prideful to think you can teach them what they need to know. Won't they be unsocialized? That's a lofty idea. That's a lazy thing to do. Et cetera. I just didn't know a lot of people who thought this was do-able. Many support me, yes. But I had never met so many people who are actually walking this road until last weekend. I loved hearing from the second generation homeschoolers and the adult children who are still reaping the fruits of their parents' labor, hearing that while their teachers weren't perfect they loved being taught at home and are doing well. I enjoyed Greta Eskridge talk about our passionate kids and how to channel that. I took lots of notes there! Leah Boden, who I didn't know before this conference, discussed how we were all a little crazy as she likened us to the scene in Alice in Wonderland at the mad tea party. Elsie Ludicello knocked it out of the park with her closing remarks, too. 

Possibly my favorite presenter was Cindy Rollins, author of Mere Motherhood. She has raised many children, mostly boys...and has survived. Now, she homeschools other people's children. She homeschooled before there was the connectivity of this community online. She took Charlotte Mason's theories and put them into practice. One of the things she said that struck me was, "If you want to have a happy home, you need to start with a happy face." Possibly the hardest thing about being with my children all day every day is the lack of me time for this introvert. I used to savor nap time when I could just for a few minutes or so not have to tend to someone or something. I could sit and think of nothing at all. When there's not any time for me to be alone with my thoughts, I feel busy and busyness makes me grumpy. Simply peeking at our homeschool schedule each day feels like an overwhelming task and I tend to want to knock it all out quickly so we can get to the true learning that occurs when wonder is involved, when all the senses are being used, or when it happens naturally. That's what I want to preserve! Just yesterday, we were out working on the chestnut farm when we spotted a frog. The boys caught it and began studying it without even knowing. Then they took it a step further and painted what they observed. They were learning so much more than frogs, what they eat, what they feel like, and why they do what they do. They were learning alongside their siblings, laughing and enjoying an early day in Fall. They were putting on their happy faces like I was. We were setting the tone for our homeschool, for our family. Sometimes it is that simple. I remembered WHY I want to do this. I'm buying time with my sweet, smart, awesome kids and that makes me happy. And it ought to show on my face as much as possible!

Guilt

Oh, mom guilt. I talk about it a lot on my other blogs. I knew it would be a factor this year so I'm trying to give myself some grace, but it's tough. Schooling at home is tough. One minute I'm on top of the world, feeling as if I'm walking with purpose. The next, I'm locking myself in my room to scour my closet for hidden chocolate and checking every nook and cranny for any patience that might be in there, too. I can't really formulate an answer when people ask me how it's going. I don't really know what to say. Most of the time I feel like this is a good, good thing.

The moments that don't feel as chipper make me question everything. I go back and forth between what exactly I'm focusing my irrational mom guilt on. Some days I think, "My kids are really missing out on making friends with their peers and learning with other adults encouraging them." But don't you know I would have guilt if I had put them in the school system, too because God had already laid this on my heart to do. Have you ever told God no? That's a heavy, heavy guilt that I'll not have, thank you very much.

Have I disclosed here that one of my children is deaf? I'm assuming most of my readers here know me and know all about Abel. But the guilt is really strong for him. He has a cochlear implant, but it wasn't the 'switch on and study really hard' approach that worked for us. He had some other problems and he is definitely behind his peers. When I thought about mainstreaming him (which was always our goal), I realized the extra services he currently requires didn't just affect the teachers but also the other students in the class. He's still learning to hear certain sounds in language. Forget reading. It was a sobering and heavy realization. No one at the school ever made me feel like that. It's just my own crazy. But it felt like my job to take this on instead of ball hogging resources from the rest of the class. I hope one day I'll be able to step away from the situation and see that ALL kids learn differently and at different paces and there are many children who need a few things tweaked in the classroom. I know this, but when I think of applying it, I only feel guilt that I'm not doing what's right for our family or, on the other hand, guilt that the teacher might feel stretched too thin with him in the class. Teachers are saints. I always wanted to be the parent who could make their big job easier. 

I'm crying as I write because these past few weeks have reminded me of where he is from a public school grade level standpoint. He's on the same level as his newly turned four year old brother. With so many milestones that have passed us by in his life I've seen this, his brother and his younger sister even, reaching them before him at times and I get very blue at the thought of it. Perhaps it's not good to want life to be a little easier on my kid, but I do. I just want one thing to come very easily for him. I want him to be the star of something, ya know? 

Last year he played basketball and well, he needs to practice. But there was one game, I will never forget. He got the ball and was running (and not dribbling) down the court to the wrong goal but he had the most amazing smile plastered on his face and he was happy. He looked free. I want to see that more often...and I do here at home. I see it when he makes some backyard discovery that intrigues him. I see it when he's upside down hanging from a tree or when he's running full force, barefoot across the farm. I see how proud he is when he knows a detail about sharks or dinosaurs that his big brothers didn't know. I get to see him more.

That's hard...but it's also really really wonderful, too.

Ancient Egypt Study

There have been days that I've thought, "I can't believe it's only August" with much hysteria displayed all over my face. Other days are blissfully simple yet productive, meaningful and slow. All is well tonight as Down Home Schoolhouse shuts down for the evening for nighttime Peter Rabbit stories. When the house becomes surprisingly quiet, I'm able to reflect on some of the little moments or words uttered that I don't want to forget.

The history curriculum I'm following is assuredly too advanced for them, but I love it. I thoughtfully chose it because I know how much my husband (and his family) enjoy studying history and I wanted to breed the same appreciation in our kids. This will be a program that I will be able to use for years if we continue to homeschool. Even if we do not, it came with a history game that is actually quite difficult on the high school level. Jordan and I play it and we struggle. It's hard, but it's fun, too. Because it can be daunting to sit a preschooler, kindergartner, and a grade one child down at a table with a two year old running circles around it, I try to make it fun for them in some way. Keep their hands busy with coordinating coloring sheets. Crafts. Dramatic read aloud. Anything to allow them to listen to what I'm talking about that day.

Lately, our efforts have been focused on Ancient Egypt. We've studied pyramids, pondered what we might do if we suddenly woke up back then, had an Egyptian themed feast, decoded hieroglyphics and learned to write our names with ancient pictures, and talked about the Nile River. 

In our back yard, we have an area of gravel (unfortunately) and the kids love to play in it. They used to pile up their dump trucks with rocks and dirt and ram them into each other as boys do. Now, it stays pretty leveled out so imagine my surprise when I look out the window and see that Kinley had dug out intricately placed ditches and was then filling them with water, making a muddy mess. I leaned my head out the door with, I'm sure, a look of annoyance as he proudly said, "Look, Mom! I made irrigation ditches just like the Egyptians made around the pyramids!"

I bit my tongue because my whole goal with this was to let the children play, to learn through experience. I didn't want some textbook answer for everything. I loved the real life application and the reminder of the role childhood creativity has when they're not plopped in front of an iPad all day. It has been good.

Just today, we discussed The Great Pyramid of Giza. We took a look at the layout of it all and Abel grinned and said, "Ma, when I die will you bury me in the underground chamber? That's cool." Fights then broke out over where the other kids would be buried. Kinley ended up with the king's chamber and Saylor rightly got the queen's chamber while Merit said, "I'll just be with Jesus." Me, too, pal. Me, too.

We also made Egyptian Armbands which they loved!

Up next is mummies. They're gonna love that, too!

High Tea

It's easy to forget how incredibly important it is to simply play. I've been guilty of this myself, especially when one of my children was diagnosed as deaf. I immediately forgot all that I knew to be true about childhood and I turned myself into the flashcard mom. I'm not knocking flashcards per se but research shows us over and over that most kids do not truly learn that way. I knew that, but I became overwhelmed with the feeling of being "behind" and I wanted Abel to rise to the top of his class and show everyone that deaf people truly can do anything. He attended every therapy, sometimes to the detriment of the rest of us. I felt guilty for carting my kids around in seat belts that equaled up to hours because of the commute. I also felt guilty if I didn't go. 

This homeschooling adventure was born out of many different reasons, but one of them was a desire to let go of what the world (or the state) tells me is normal for my child. This is a daily struggle for me. At moments, I can remove my mom brain from this situation and see that Abel (and all of my kids) do some things at a higher level than their peers. I can also see that their peers do some tasks better than each of them. That's just part of life, right? With them at home, I can monitor their frustration and plan our learning accordingly. The tea party day was a great reminder of that. We had started off the day with a lot of "work" and I hadn't structured it very well. It was too much at once and I knew I was losing them. We still had more language arts to focus on, but the struggle was evident so I told them all to go out to play and that I was planning a party for them that afternoon. In the back of my mind, I remembered my mom had gotten Saylor a tea set and I thought that would be a fun memory for them while I snuck in some read-aloud time.

I grabbed our stack of poetry books I've collected over the years and a book that Dolly Parton sent us- Chimpanzees For Tea- and began to set up a dainty little front porch oasis for the five of us. I almost told them to put on their Sunday bests, but I came back to reality really quickly with that thought. I mean, my kids are almost always barefoot and barely clothed.

People ask me how I get my children to listen to stories without pictures and I've learned a few tips, but you should know that I'm often trying to talk over them. They're still young (at least that's what I tell myself) and so they often break into what I'm saying with questions or completely random remarks. Still, we press on. My kids get at least thirty minutes of read aloud time a day. It's a stretch to force story time, especially if I'm reading poetry so I needed something where they were using their hands. If you give the children something to do quietly while you are reading to them, you'll likely have more success. Another obvious time passer is to provide food. Children learn when their bodies are fed as well as their minds. I don't worry if they're kicking their little legs, chewing obnoxiously, or giggling to one another while I read. Boys especially are known to learn better when they're moving. 

Peep those crusts in Saylor's tasting picture above. Mama has to get in on the PB&J action, too!

Anyway, this activity last week held their attention for awhile. We discussed fancy tea parties and I managed to get most of them to try green tea for the first time. We sweetened with sugar cubes and honey and devoured poems like Over Hill, Over Dale (Shakespeare), Stars (Sara Teasdale), and Casey At The Bat (Thayer). We thought about how wild it would be to forget an entire grocery list and accidentally invite monkeys over for tea. We laughed and we were together.

And we forgot all about correct pencil grasps and sounding out letters. 

We saved those for another day.

It was high tea time and thirty minutes passed time to PLAY!

Mushroom Manipulatives

Are there ever any original thoughts anymore? I hope so. I don't know. But before you start reading this and thinking that I came up with this idea in my already cluttered mind, let me tell you that this idea was completely inspired by the latest Wild + Free bundle. I love receiving their monthly subscriptions. The gorgeous photos, the thoughtfully chosen words, and the passion for learning at any age is evident in each issue and serves as a great inspiration to me to be more observant and focused with the kids I have in my home. Sometimes I enjoy recreating what someone else has also found to be a neat project. So much of what has brought us home to learn is a yearning to be outside more, to experience the grass under our feet, the stifling heat, the short reprieve of a breeze blowing across our necks. Nature is healing. I believe that. Yesterday, when I was losing the attention of my dear pupils after eventual blank stares at the thought of learning Spanish, I decided it was time to go outside and reset. I grabbed a basket and asked the kids to go on a mushroom hunt. They love a good hunt. Maybe you have a bunch of boys right in a row, too and you already know this, but at my house, everything is a competition. This activity was no different. Who could find the smallest? Who could find the biggest? Who could find one that wasn't broken at all? Who could find one that was a color other than brown? We had several winners amongst the categories.

We gathered several mushrooms to study. The kids got out their magnifying glasses and looked at the grooves and bends of each and marveled at their colors. I don't use that term lightly either. We were all enamored with the vibrant colors that sprinkled our yard, aware that most people just mow them over. They're whimsical really and this wasn't lost on the kids. After spending some time looking at them, we trimmed off the stems and found a piece of black construction paper to place them on. Then, we covered with a glass dish and waited until morning to see what might happen.

When we woke up the next day, the kids pulled up a bench so they could all unveil what might have happened while they slept. Carefully, we removed each mushroom from the paper and found that they left some fairly intricate prints behind. 

This prompted them to come up with other ways to study mushrooms. My oldest wondered if we might be able to create a dye with the colors from the mushrooms by soaking them in water over night. I suppose that's an experiment for another day, though. We'll have to add that to our growing list of what interests us and what we want to know. 

Top on that list for me right now is:

How many times can one child get out of bed at night before mama goes crazy? Just wondering.

Mid-Week Check In

It depends upon which time of day you ask me, of course, but this homeschooling gig is going well. I can say that in the evening after little bodies are winding down and getting ready to be tucked in tight. I can also say that in the mornings as I'm sitting alone drinking my coffee in peace and remembering all the mornings I physically pulled four children from their slumber before the sun even woke up to coax the older two into the building with my sanity only barely in tact. Mornings were hard. I really wanted to change that. We've fallen into a rhythm of doing "school" around 9am. If the kids wake up one by one and filter slowly in, we'll fill that time before nine with books or conversations or one on one language arts time.

It has been good. I find myself aching and tired by the end of the day, but in a good way, as if I've accomplished a big athletic feat and I've done it well. The chaos of the day falls away and I am able to somehow focus on the parts of the day that felt right- the slow mornings of togetherness, the time my deaf child surprised me with what he knew, the moment that excited my seven year old, or the joyful, creative play of all the others. Yes, tonight it feels like this is doable. 

Spanish Lessons

I know we'll have our days. There have been so many moments that I've thought to myself, "What are you doing? This isn't going to work." But the other minutes of the day are feeling like we're right where we belong, walking in what God has in store for us. Yes, this is good.

But just for the sake of keeping it real, I'll take you back to this not-so-picture perfect scene from today...

We had ventured outside for a nature study. We're doing an experiment that I'll share with you later on this week. Anyway, I walked back into the house to locate some shoes for all those little feet. Typically, my kids are barefoot, but chestnut season is upon us and we've all learned the hard way that walking around on a chestnut farm without shoes is not the best idea. I walked in and immediately was flabbergasted...

WHY would anyone pee in the kitchen floor?

My brain was only computing that there was a yellow substance near the refrigerator and I immediately and begrudgingly began cleaning this up because if I'm honest, I've seen urine and feces in much stranger locations. Finally, something clicked that it didn't smell like what I thought it to be. I opened the doors of the ice box to find an entire gallon of orange juice leaking out. Some small child, God love him, had helped himself to preparing lunch and a tasty drink.

How can I be frustrated with that? 

Autonomy lesson also complete.

I think I'll add that to my lesson plan in retrospect.

Back To School

I knew it would happen. The back to school photos, all the reminders that this is not what most people choose for their family. When school started back, I made a deliberate effort to take the kids out for a field trip that day as if to remind myself of why I'm doing this. We went to Ijams Nature Center and then perused a bookstore. Later that week, I let them walk around outside and hit up playgrounds at lunch time. We enjoyed the quietness of these public spaces and being together, but I know that will not be enough. The start of this new adventure for us is the perfect storm, really. Let me let you in on it...

If you know what's going on in my life right now, you know that I am training for the NYC Marathon. It's my first. Go big or go home, right? Anyway, I recently backed way off my mileage because of some pain I was experiencing in my back and right leg. With my training schedule staring me down, I had to stop my daily routine of releasing endorphins and managing stress appropriately. I hoped to rest and then start back fresh in a few days, but every time I run, the same pain returns the next day. It's difficult to be a runner and not run. I know some of you know exactly what I mean. I need it. To make matters worse, I had a medical professional tell me that I needed to stop running altogether and that really got me down because that's not an option for me right now. When I have such an obvious failure in my life to complete a task, it really makes me blue. Feeling as if I can't do the things I want to do with the body that I have is not a feeling I handle well. Sure, I can finish this marathon, but I wanted to pour myself into and do it well. I wanted to train and have a finishing time that I'm proud of so I never have to do it again.

The same is true for the education of my children. I really, really want to do well as their teacher. I'm preparing in ways that I haven't before. I'm thoughtfully choosing materials to work with and arranging my house in a way that makes sitting down to learn more comfortable for them. The ugly truth is that I don't feel equipped, though. I'm not ready. But God told me to do this and so I'm diving in in obedience and faith. Of course, I'm nervous but it's happening. A quick trip through the book of Ephesians is my pep talk.

"He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..."

"Live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

"But to each one of us grace has been given..."

"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers to prepare God's people for works of service so that the body of Christ may be built up..."

"Chosen"

"Predestined according to the plan"

Just go read all of it. If God is in this homeschooling plan this year and I know that He is, I can't fail. His will over my pride all day long. That's what the root issue is, isn't it? Pride. It often is with me. The last two weeks at church the pastor has spoken about the dark sides that we all have and I've been pondering on the worst part of me. At my core, I struggle most with pride. I want to have it all together. I want to keep a clean home, have perfect children, a chiseled body, and a great marriage. I don't want you all to know that I'm not even close to perfect, that I sometimes contemplate lighting all our laundry on fire because it's that backed up. I don't want you to see me losing my temper with my kids. I don't even want you to know that my husband is truly the one who cooks dinner most nights. My house is sometimes tidy, but never super clean. My children give me hourly opportunities to correct them. My midsection will likely never see the light of day again. The truth is, I've got stuff. Ugly, scarred baggage not worthy of being modeled by you or my children. But the good news I know to be true is that God doesn't leave us in our brokenness. He gives us hope and a future. Perhaps the most striking lesson learned this year will be my own. Perhaps by teaching them, I can lower myself even further to that of a true servant...bearing with my children in love, being patient, humble and gentle as Paul urges to the church in Ephesus. Lord willing.

Our homeschool starts this week! We'll take all the prayers you can muster up. 

Plans

Planner by AnnaVancePaperCo

I've always been a bit enamored with highly organized teachers and mothers. Have you ever been in a challenge group on Fitbit with a bunch of teachers? You probably don't win. They take a billion steps a day. They seem to squeeze in so much productivity in the same amount of hours I have that it leaves me questioning what in the world I could do differently.

I think this will be one of the biggest hurdles for me: planning. The chaos of it all. I enjoy a plan just fine. When my kids were younger, I lived off of a set schedule. It gave me life to actually have a naptime to plan around. But as time brought more children with more needs and different schedules, I tried to be the girl who was up for anything. I'm a go-with-the-flow person by nature and so this is where I find myself now. Plans make me nervous because I'm a seasoned mom who knows that one can create a magnificent plan in their head, but the kids will almost always shatter that expectation with poop, fighting, sickness, or grumpiness every single time. On the other hand, I'm still that psychology major whose mind wanders back to the basics of goal setting and planning and I know that without one in place, I'll struggle more than I would otherwise.

Another problem I foresee is the chaos of a messy home. I'm calm when my house is clean. When the tasks are done-the cleaning, laundry, keeping the little people fed- I'm in my element. I can be the intentional mother that I want to be. I can make a new mess on the floor of toys, paint masterpieces, or materials because I'm the fun mom. Yet if those messes are in every room of the house, my heart beats fast and I'm on edge. I begin to feel trapped. All the stuff. Every time this happens, I go on a purge and donate half of our things to the local thrift store. I should be doing that now actually.

The point is, I know I need a plan of balancing home and school so that's what I've been working on the past few weeks. It has been fun to thoughtfully shop for lesson plans, ideas, and books that will aid in teaching my family this year. Part of the reason I want to homeschool is to decrease the rush of our lives that comes with being a part of a community. Our society has ushered us off to the next best thing and I don't know that I like it all that much. Part of my plan will be to slow down and enjoy being with my family. Children learn at different paces; we know that. I'll remind myself of that as I attempt to create an environment where learning is fun and intrinsically motivating.

Last night I sat down with my new planner and began to jot down what's most important to us in our homeschool right now. I loosely began creating a schedule that we will put into place as our classroom spaces and materials come together in mid August. The only way I'm not completely overwhelmed is because I'm remembering that old verse in Proverbs, "In your heart you may plan your course, but the Lord orders your steps" (see 16:9) I move forward in this undertaking with a large dose of humility noticing that the only way this works is if I'm walking in God's will for our lives. There's great comfort in that!